By Peter Henderson
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - For many California gays andlesbians, getting married is nothing new. They've done it morethan once -- to the same person.
But as the state officially begins marrying same-sexcouples next week, old hands say each time is different.
"How many times am I going to have to marry this woman?"half-joked Marilyn Sanders, a San Francisco Bay area woman whofirst exchanged vows with Christine Elliott in 2001.
They had a lavish commitment ceremony, with 100 guests, aband, catering and a gown for each bride. But they didn't havea marriage license because same-sex nuptials were not legal.
Three years later they got the chance for legal marriage inSan Francisco as the city bucked state law in a short-livedseries of same-sex marriage ceremonies, later invalidated bythe courts. They wore semi-formal attire to what this timeseemed a block party, a political statement made by thousands.
Next week same-sex marriages will be allowed statewide forthe first time, thanks to a landmark state Supreme Courtdecision last month. The two women are going in jeans -- andhoping for an end to their long quest for legitimacy.
Saying "I do" is about a lot more than love by the thirdtime. Couples tying the knot over and over often findceremonies changing from vows of commitment to political acts.And many find new meaning in the old word of marriage.
When real estate professional David Gunderman wed AndrewRaskopf for the second time in 2004 at San Francisco City Hall,he had an epiphany.
"You were wrapped in a kind of energy and love that wasjust palpable," he said. He began to think that acceptinganything less than full marriage rights was kin to homophobia.
"I am going to fill up my wall with marriage certificatesuntil one sticks," he said.
VOTERS MAY CUT SHORT HONEYMOON
A similar philosophy led Robin Tyler and Diane Olson in2004 to challenge state law defining marriage as between a manand a woman. They aim to get married next week at Beverly HillsCity Hall, where they made an annual ritual to get a marriagelicense -- and were denied.
"It's just that understood word that defines ourrelationship," Olson said of marriage. "People in othercountries understand that -- you do here."
But the threat of being shoved back into the cold hangsabove those preparing to wed, since Californians will vote inNovember whether to amend the state constitution to forbidsame-sex marriage -- as 45 states do in some form.
Northern Californians Nick Szeto and Gordon Runnels plan towed on the 17th, having waited for legalized marriage, and theywant to follow up with a celebratory ceremony next year --unless the November measure passes. "If it was invalidated, Ican't see any reason to have a wedding," Szeto said.
But many see the civic act as a catalyst for wider change.
"There is something about community support that reallyhelps relationships and helps a relationship be a contributionto the community -- and I'm not talking just about the gaycommunity," said Mike Strange, an insurance professionalplanning to wed pastry chef David Ingram for the second time.
Like many, however, they see their first ceremony as themost important. Theirs was in a house in the country hoursoutside of San Francisco, with friends and family.
Lindasusan Ulrich and Emily Drennen held a 2003 weddingthat is the date they remember. Both were dressed in white --and wore the same dresses in 2004 and plan the same this year.
They talk about being "married married" in 2004, as opposedto just "married" in their own ceremony. And they see thestate-recognized pledge as adding something to their union. Atheme will be 'third time's the charm'.
"I want to be the person who makes the promises, even ifsome law later on tells me that they didn't have any legalvalidity," Ulrich said.
Of course, not everyone is ready for marriage. At the Prideparade in the Los Angeles-area gay-friendly city West Hollywoodthis month, muscular young men danced on a fire truck andfloats in micro bathing suits.
Gyrating shirtless in front of a dance/cruise bar float,Dexter LaRoderick, 30, described himself as "Hot!"
Marriage is not in his near future, he said. But thanks tothe California Supreme Court, he can now imagine it.
"It makes me want to find somebody," he said.
